Too broken to walk again… Too bruised to heal.

This is freaking  too much!! I was only trying to do what’s right….at least what I thought was right….

They taught me that one plus one is two…. I didn’t realize that it was only on paper…. How so very stupid of me!!!… I should have used my brain!!!  Like kumbe when rubber met the road it was that one plus one was what the “man-in-power” said it was.

Reality was that I  wasn’t ever going to be good enough….I’m  already on my highway to hell anyway,  I might as well alight here….

I bruise easily…the scratches break me more than broken bones ever would…. I give up!!!!

I tried,  I promise I  did, but I’m sorry I’m too broken to walk again…..too bruised to heal.




How do I survive this without losing myself?
How do I get to broken without falling apart?

When does it all stop being normal?
When did it even start?

Is there redemption in escape?
Or should I seek comfort in the snare?

I’ve felt the pain of both and I know not which is worse,
The torment of the run or the sick solace in despair.


Believed I Could, So I Did!

Borrowed moments on borrowed time,

Happy can write the script sometimes…

Smiles unbroken by broken creeds,

Because I could, so I did.


Daring to believe in spite of doubts so loud,

Courage and Faith promising to abound…

Stepping into the hope-paved-road,

Living by the “I-can-so-I-did” code.

Broken rules and healing bones,

Daring to walk into chapters unknown…

If I die young, I swear I lived,

Yes because I could, I definitely did!

©RK Nyra




If heaven is for real and not a thing made up,
I hope to make it there with all my broken parts.

If hell is for real and not a tale of control,
I hope mercy will suffice to save my scarlet soul.

If heaven is for real and only for the purified,
I dare hope to make the cut among those counted sanctified.

If hell is for real with fires burning loud, relentless, merciless and tall,
I hope God will hear my beggar’s plea and by love, break my fall.

If heaven is for real and not a definite maybe,
I hope He remembers the mustard seed; and be pleased enough to save me.

If hell is for real and is not God’s will for man,
Then in my life, may only God’s will be done.

If heaven is for real and God wills it to be my home,
Then I hope to make it there: first broken, then healed and whole.


©RK Nyra



It’s aaaaaaaaaaalright to celebrate yourself!

I have come to learn that everyone in life has faced their share of battles…you win some, you lose some, life goes on…c’est la vie. If you won’t pause to enjoy the spoils of this battle, you will usually not have enough strength to endure the next battle. I have also realized that most of us don’t necessarily know how to celebrate our little victories. The norm is to be a bit too hard on ourselves when we have missed the mark or not reached a certain expectation. Whether it’s at home, school, work, or out there with friends, we have a certain heightened sensitivity to “how we failed to do this or that right” or “how we blundered that part of the speech/deal/game…etc.” We’re often so much focused on the missed mark that we fail to appreciate the bits that went well.

Don’t get me wrong: it is healthy to analyze the “what and how” to improve; what is unhealthy is focusing so much on it that, we fail to appreciate what is already good/excellent.

So go ahead and smile when you win even in what you would consider a “small win”,

Pat yourself on the back, heck even do a little victory dance if you will,

Do it for yourself, that inner man/woman that you could be breaking or building,

And for that little kid that you could be influencing.

Pause and enjoy the spoils of the battle that you won,

For all you know, that little celebration could be the all source of your strength to go on!

© Rk Nyra
July 2016 Musings